Are you questioning why your partner just can’t listen to you? Do you feel like you hate your partner after baby came? Did things change in your marriage after you became parents? Are you wondering if your relationship can handle another kid?
According to the Gottman Institute, 67% of couples report decreased satisfaction in their relationships until their child(ren) turn 3.1 That’s a whopping three years per kid!
You aren’t alone if your relationship is struggling – with or without kids.
Read on to discover how therapy can benefit your relationship even if you think you don’t need it, or click here if you are in the state of Kansas and ready to schedule a session.
What is relationship or couples therapy?
Couples therapy is intended to improve your relationship based on what’s not working for you. This might involve bettering communication struggles, processing a loss or traumatic experience together, discussing intimacy issues, understand one another’s childhood experiences and attachment histories, or re-connecting as a couple again.
My education emphasizes the importance of treating couples and families. I support any type of couple in my office – LGBTQIA+, non-monogamous or open, heterosexual, co-parents, or separated individuals. I have received extensive training through The Gottman Institute as well as perinatal-specific education on couples through Postpartum Support International. If you have any questions about services, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
How can counseling help a relationship?
Therapy is a great way for couples to have a safe place to discuss their strengths and weaknesses. Often, we are busy with our work, our children, household chores, and life itself. It takes time and effort to improve a relationship, and therapy sessions offer a predictable place and time set aside to do so.
Relationship therapy is also a great way to increase trust between each other. It takes vulnerability to attend therapy and engage in sessions. By sharing that vulnerable space together, a couple can increase their emotional connection and understanding of one another’s unspoken influences, such as attachment wounds, childhood history, thinking patterns, and fears.
The emotional connection in a relationship influences every aspect of your life: sex, parenting, self-esteem, ability to focus, goal-setting, problem-solving – just to name a few.
Reasons to start couples therapy:
- You want to feel closer emotionally
- You keep fighting the same fights
- You feel like your partner doesn’t hear you – or vice versa
- You disagree on parenting choices
- You want to improve your sex life
- You are avoiding talking about a touchy topic
- You want to rebuild trust
- You want better communication
Is counseling only for married couples?
Nope! Counseling services can be useful for any couple regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, who lives with who, whether you are happy together or not, whether you are on the verge of separating, or whether you already have separated.
The roots of relationship therapy involve communication skills and gaining a deeper understanding of the other person’s perspective and ways of thinking.
Why is therapy helpful for new parents?
New parents both experience changes and difficulties during this major life transition. Often, these changes and difficulties aren’t the exact same as the other. Relationship counseling can help you work together to achieve your goals by increasing understanding, practicing active listening and communication skills, and joining together as a team rather than separate individuals.
Here are a few reasons why couples therapy can be beneficial in pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond2:
- communication about role changes or the shifts in responsibilities
- techniques to share the mental load
- addressing past mistakes or hidden resentments
- collaborating on family planning decisions
- processing birth trauma or perinatal loss
- discussing intimacy issues
- and so much more!
Couples Counseling in Wichita, KS
Riley Blanton, LMFT-T is a therapist who specializes in treating couples who are trying to conceive, pregnant, postpartum, or struggling in their relationship with parenting, infidelity, communication, or trauma. Riley offers sessions in her office in Wichita, KS or virtually through a secure video platform if you reside in the state of Kansas.
I am trained from a systems perspective, meaning I love to include as many people in the therapy process as possible to gain a better understanding of the issue – which is why working with couples is one of my favorite parts of my job!
I am trained in The Gottman Method, a couples therapy method that is based on evidence and real couples. I also have received additional training through Postpartum Support International, including Paternal Mental Health and Postpartum Realities in a Polyamorous Landscape.
Every couple and individual is different, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all approach to couples therapy. We all will work together to develop your treatment goals and move you towards peace in your relationship one step at a time.
If I am not the best fit for you, I’d love to send you some referrals and get you connected with someone who can help! Postpartum is a vulnerable time, especially if you are experiencing relationship stressors. You deserve to find support, and I’d be humbled to help you in that.
References
1 Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2008). And baby makes Three: The Six-step plan for preserving marital intimacy and rekindling romance after baby arrives. Three Rivers Press.